Marie Juliano, or as she was more affectionately known to her grandchildren as "Grandma Sugar", was indeed an incredible woman. With an infectious laugh, a heart of gold, and a propensity for whipping up the most delicious meals out of a humble kitchen, one could not have asked for a more perfect grandparent. It would take volumes to expound on all the memories we hold of her throughout her long life. Grandma, you will be missed by all of us who loved you dearly. And tell Grandpa Frank, that I'm gonna get him for those times when we were kids and he'd ask us if we wanted to "see the moon", then proceed to hold us up in the air by our heads, causing, what I would perceive to be a taste of what could be compared to a migraine.
Miss you, love you, Grams.
Mick Fazzolare
As these memories continue to pop into my brain, I'll try to recount them as faithfully as my limited recall will allow....
When I made the "culture shock" move from Miami to Orlando back in '82, I was headlong into a musical career that was, as far as I was concerned, the ticket to eternal bliss, riches, and a life of artistic freedom that would release me from the chains of the daily 9 to 5 grind suffered by so many.
I sell refigerators for a living now....
Anyway, to keep the dream alive, I would make the arduous journey between Miami and Orlando on a bi-weekly basis. Now...you simply don't get into town without calling Grandma Sugar, who lived in Fort Lauderdale, and would have been blasphemy to not give a heads up.
"Hey Grams, it's me, Michael. We're going to Miami for band practice and a gig, maybe we'll stop by and see you on the way back in day or so."
"Michael, do you and your friends want to come over to have some dinner?"
"I dunno Grams, we're on a tight schedule, it'd have to be a quick stop, okay?"
"Of course, Michael. Something small so you can go do what you have to do."
Now, I should have known better...we walk in, and there's three different kinds of pasta, a roasted chicken, steaks, a salad...and a pizza.
As if all the other stuff wasn't enough, a pizza for heaven's sake!
"Grams, who else you got comin' over?"
"Just you boys, that's all."
"Hey Grams, how come you cut the pizza with a pair of scissors?"
"Would you shut up and eat?!"
Ate we did.
I couldn't eat for a week after that....
Allow me to further wax rhapsodical on the life and times of Grams...
I wasn't aware of the frequency in traffic court appearances that Grams had experienced until I read it in one of the first posts on this blog.
I do however, recall Gram's affinity for driving a tad past the posted speed limit. Not to say that she was a bad driver, just a little heavy on the pedal to the metal (sorry, I've lived in Oklahoma for most of the past year and couldn't resist the redneck colloquialism.)
If, God forbid, she was stuck behind a driver that was driving at or below the speed limit, she'd roll down the window, stick her head out, and yell at the top of her lungs, "GET A HORSE!!!!" Which actually sounded like, "GET A HAWSE!!!!" due to her New Yawk..err I mean New York accent.
Well of course as kids we thought this was hysterical, completely and totally. Priceless.
Take a drive with Grams to the beach? A splendid time was guaranteed for all...And that was before you ever got to the ocean.
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Grams should've been a stand-up comic. It's not that the jokes she told were particularly funny, some were hysterical...some were...no, they were all pretty frickin' funny. But what made you laugh uncontrollably, was the way she told them. She would break into "over the top" laughter that made a two minute joke last for a half hour. Of course by the time the punch line came up, your insides were hurting from howling so much. Here's one of Gram's classics..beware...objectionable language ahead....
ReplyDeleteA man is in the hospital for a series of tests. One of the last tests had left his system upset. Upon making several false alarms to the bathroom he decided the latest was another and stayed put. He then filled his bed with human waste and was embarrassed beyond anything he could possibly face. Losing his presence of mind, he jumped up, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms wildly which left the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet. As the drunk stood there staring down at the sheets, a security guard who had watched the whole incident walked up and asked "What the hell was that all about?" Still staring down, the drunk said: "I just beat the shit out of a ghost!"